How to Stalk Somebody...

  Post 10               How to stalk somebody

Hey there people whats up???
O really???
well get this...
nobody gives a damn.......

I know i haven't posted for months but I've decided to get back in the game, my writing skills might be a but still here goes nothing.
Well you must be reading this for two reasons the first one is that you people might be a nerd who needs a life in that case you might want to head over to my friend's blog here if that's not the case then you've come to the right place and in a few moments time i shall turn you into a lean mean stalking machine.

  I'll assume that you are fairly new to the act of stalking (why else would you be here noob.....), I'll start off by explaing to you what stalking is...
Definition:-

                Stalking: Stalking is a term commonly used to refer to unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group toward another person...(that was copied from wikipedia)

and now my definition

Stalking is the only way of telling the person who you're attracted to that how much you truly love him/her. 

The Practical Implications of stalking:-

                                                         Stalking in itself is an art just like hunting or shooting and if you're really good at it you can monetize your stalking expertise by becoming a paparazzi or a spy.

The types of stalking:-

                                 Stalking is sub-divided into a couple of categories(i am too lazy to count them all) i'll just list a couple of them.

1) E-stalking:-

                      The act of being really creepy by invading someone's privacy through electronic/digital channels is called e-stalking.It used to be really expensive and difficult in the early 90's but now thanks to social networking sites, proxies and hacking scripts even a monkey with a blindfold could do it.

2) Close proximity stalking:-(yes i made the term up myself,u mad????)

                                          This kind of stalking is done by people who have real guts for the job, they follow their stalkees(yes my word, u jelly?) everywhere tehy goa nd they are not afraid to be noticed they may wait hours outside the stalkees house waitng for a glimpse of the stalkee or a slipper from her, anything will do for them. Thest people use their "SOURCES" to find the contact info. (emails,telephone num.,mobile num, anything will do for them.) 

3) James Bond 007:-

                                These people aren't actual stalkers but are mostly vailas and faarigh people with cash burning a hole in their pockets. These people use sensitive spy gear like secret cameras voice recorders telephone tapping and trackers and bugs to obtain 24/7 info about their stalkees. These people are the all time high at the creep'o'meter, and they give real stalkers a bad name...

Thing that you'll need:-

                                  Here is a list of things that you'll need...

1) A person to stalk

2) A good pair of binoculars.

3) A portable computer and a portable internet connector.

4) A phone..

5) common sense.

6) cool suspicious clothes (a black wollen ski cap,black  cargo pants with pockets, a black high neck)

7) a little knowledge on hacking..... 
8) Multiple sim cards (20 is minimal)

  How to stalk your stalkee:-

                                           This is a step by step guide on how to be a stalker...

1) Get a stalkee (did you actually think you could become a stalker without one??? how dumb could you get?) Choose your stalkee wisely if you're a guy get that cute girl from your class yea that one which doesn't even know you exist , this will show her....

2) Follow your stalkee around but be sure to maintain a distance of around 10 m (what? are you too lazy for this? might i suggest studying then???)

3) Obtain his/her number from anywhere you can e.g your mutual friends..(*tip:-if you don't have any then steal his/her friend's mobile...*)(and remember its theft if and only if you get caught...)

4) Find a place to stay near your stalkees house... a new hangout spot but that plae must have a clear view of your stalkee's abode(house).... 

5) Call your stalker from the PCO or the internet and don't say a word just keep on breathing deeply....

6) Send him/her threatning messages from differnet number....

7) If your stalkees cathers you red handed and hands you over to the police then don't loose hope get out of jail in 3 years and repeat the process...

8) If she presses charges then remeber a restraint order is just another way of saying "I love you.. (but your stalkee might not know this...)

9) Send her/him flowers,chocis and letters from his/her secret admirer. (yes that's you...Stupid) regularly.

10) Add her/his closest friends on fb/twitter and use their accounts to stalk his/her pics and other info.

                                               And viola now you're a grade 'A' stalker....

Tips and cautions:-

1)                           In most countries stalking is illegal but who cares right???? rules are their to be broken, and not only broken but to be broken and trampled upon...

2) Don't over do it.

3) Don't go around wearing leaves on your head in an urban environment.(that's just plain stupid)

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Disclaimer:-

                   Use the tips provided in this article at your own expense as this artical is only intended for recreational purposes..

Dont use this article withour accrediting me.

if you don't find this funny then go kill yourself.

grammar is not my strong point.

any damage done to your physical,social or mental status by this artical is your fault not mine... 

Stalking is illegal its creepy and just plain bad.... 
Don't mind the spelling mistakes, texting has ruined my typing...

The Real truth (theories) About the Bermuda triangle

Blog no. 9

              The Real truth (theories) About the Bermuda triangle

Hey readers whazxxxup? today I'll give you the Down-low on one of the biggest mysteries of our times and tell you what i think about it.
 As you might know that the Bermuda triangle is a place where a lot of freaky shit happens like planes,subs and ships vanished without a trace(they sent out radio signals but who gives a damn right?) and you might have seen shows regarding the triangle on History,national geographic or discovery channel but as we all know that's all a bunch of crazy hog-wash and these people are deliberately trying to stupidify you by telling you that sh*t.
                    First let me make this thing clear The triangle isn't actually a triangle its a quadrangle(for a few of you who haven't paid attention during geometry a quadrangle is a closed shape with four sides and points hence the "quad"rangle).
Where abouts:-
              It can be found traveling across the Atlantic ocean but is said to reside between the confines of Miami,San Juan(read as yuan moron),Puerto Rico and last but not the least Islands of Bermuda(whenever i say or write the word Bermuda a song pops into my mind here it goes Aroba,Jamaica ooo i wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama.....damn it brain you've done it again) where were we? huh, oh yea i was ranting on about the B to the E to the R to the M to the U to the D to the A(that spells Bermuda?? you don't say?)
Also called:-
             The devils triangle, that freaky place,sector x, that zone where normal things don't happen very often,devil's backyard,Woman's purse,My room,My cargo pants' pocket,Lae Nallah(Rwp district), Lahore's Canal or nehar(whatev the lahoris call it who cares right?)...(yes i came up with most of them myself..Problem?).
Why is it so popular:-
                      Its popular coz many dead people with old torn down planes and ships went missing there and many movies also have its name in them and a lot of people have written totally useless books about it which are choked full of lies and if your stupid geography book or your science book has anything to say about it then they are lies too, even your teacher is a bloody liar if he/she makes you read them.
What got lost there:-
                     The Americans lost a lot of cool shit there the list is very long but I'll try to name them coz i am so damn awesome (no arguing about that notion)
1)A bunch or flying planes civilian and military
2)a bunch of ships and boats civilian and military.
theories about the Quadrangle:-
                               Scientists,Chuck Norris and your's truly all of us have different opinions about the triangles but most of what the scientists say are lies they are trying to stupidify you with those lies most of what the scientists say are lies because they can't be right coz they're nerds and geeks for God's sake when did nerds and geeks become the smartest people in the world?
 The theories range from aliens to worm holes and portals to other dimensions and from bad weather to magnetic fields and huge as* waves.
 But I know what actually goes on their yea you heard it right Einstein I said I know what goes on in their.(WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT EINSTEIN,OH RIGHT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT COZ YOU'RE DEAD...)
 My favorite theory about the triangle(by other people):-
          Aliens: people say that they abduct anything they find interesting going through the triangle.
Worm holes: Most of the things that went through the triangle got sucked into a worm hole end of story.
Portals: Portals randomly pop up at different places at random times in the triangle and things go through them
Magnetic fields: As you know compasses go haywire when used near a magnet and the sea bed at the bottom of the triangle is piled with magnetics hence the compasses start going haywire and planes and ships start to go in circles and eventually their fuel runs out and they sink.
Electro magnetic fog: this is a very freaky kind of fog available in a variety of assorted and designer colors that causes radio and other electronics in the victim's planes or ships to go haywire hence they are lost at sea.
  The theories about the triangle which make no sense to me(by other people):-
                    Strong winds: winds so strong that they disintegrate anything they come in contact with.(pfft pile of bulldog sh*t)
Huge as* waves: Really huge waves engulf everything sending them to their saltwater flavored death.(how can waves get as high as 10000 feet? hog wash really)
Devil: El Diablo (Spanish for the devil, dimwit) lives their and he doesn't like intruders in his abode(the devil probably has better things to do then to get a couple off meddling kids off from his property.)

A real image taken by the satellite of Bermuda triangle about to devour 2 planes(yes that was made by paint captain obvious, Problem?)

 My theories about the quadrangle(drum roll please) "badum tssss":-
         So fellas this is the part that you all must be waiting for huh.
1) Fuzzy lumpkins lives their (gett off from my property)
2) Dora's secret cache of drug is located there and Diego and his animals friends guard it with their life.
3) Secret Alien Base
4) Osama Bin Laden's secret toy factory.
5) Hershey's secret chocolate test factory is located their.
6) 3 words "New Apple maps".
7) Dexter's Secret Lab is located there.
8) Megan from drake and josh has her warehouse of cool stuff there.
9) America tests secret weapons there from time to time.
10) Nokia's secret destructibility testing center is there.
11) That's where Julian Assange's Mama lives..(O.o)
12) Leprechaun and their pots of gold so they protect it with their life.
13) Hogwarts school of wizardry and magic.
14) Zardari's secret bank account.
15) Its Santa Clause and his minions and they plot to take over the world.
16) That is where the Indians translate American shows to hindi....
17) Jack sparrow's ghost guards his treasure which is situated on the Island in the center of the quadrangle.
19) A smuggler lives there who gave buddy and guy the Gary Coleman grills.(drake and josh)
20) Adolf Hitler lives with Eva Braun(yes Adolf's wife.....) their on his private mansion.
21) My imaginary Girlfriend.(NO COMMENTS I GET VERY TOUCHY)
22) Evil camels planning world domination.
23) Evil kittens..
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Discliamer:-
            This article is my intelectual property please do not copy it without accrediting me
 This article is the creative work of my imagination and i am damn sure that the triangle doesn't do that in real life.
 Not my fault if you get an F on your report card you nincompoop
I take no responsibility for any damages done to you or your reputation by reading this article.
If you don't find it funny then its not my fault
I hate grammar I know about the errors and it is intended that way (problem?)
Dora,Diego,Drake and josh are reserved trademarks of nick inc.
FUZZY LUMPKINS &Dexter are registered trademarks of hanna barbera
I didn't list chuck norris' theories cause he might come to get me if i get them wrong(Yes i am afraid of him,Problem?)
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 Please take a minute of your time to tell me how you felt about this article by commenting (yea use the box that says leave a comment....)
Spread the word on fb twitter whatever.....

Unanswerable questions....

Blog Post 8  

                                           Unanswerable questions....

Hey readers I was sick (rhinitis) and because of that my creativity was blocked so I couldn't come up with a better topic, so I decided to copy and paste some of other people's works and pass them on as my own original work (you didn't read that). Stupid questions, unanswerable riddles call 'em whatever you want heck it's a free country take advantage of your freedom and thank The lord Almighty that you don't live in North Korea or some other state like that,oh yea unanswerable questions,
here are the best of them that i could come up with (google).
Tips
Bear in mind that these questions are for fun don't ask the teacher about them they get touchy (Like it matterzz?)
Don't ask them to people twice your size...
Don't ask your parents about them it just pisses them off
and they don't like that(true story).

Some extremely dumb/stupid/unanswerable questions...
1) What's the value of x?
2) what's the actual value of 0 (zero)
3) Why does the alarm clock "go off" when it actually goes on?
4) If you crossed a bulldog with a shitsu would the offspring be called bull-shit? (yes both are dogs.....)
5) If jimmy cracks corn and no one cares then why is there a song about it?
6) why do you have to stop at a Drive-thru?
7) Why does mineral water that has trickled through rocks for centuries expires the next year?
8) Why does sour cream has an expiry date?
9) why does goofy stand erect and Pluto stays on all fours???
10) Why do they call it taking a dump when you're actually leaving it?
11) Where does the rhyme says that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
12) Why do the banks leave the doors wide opened but their pens chained to the desks?
13) If electricity comes from electrons does morality come from morons?
14) Why doesn't Donald duck wear any pants?
15) If an Orange is an orange then why isn't a lime called a green and lemon called a yellow?
16) What color would a smurf turn if you choke it?
17) Why is Greenland covered in snow and iceland covered in grass?
18) Is Australia a continent or a country?
19) Are nokia phones Indestructible?
20) If you own a piece of land do you own it all the way down to the earth's core?
21) Why can't women put mascara (whateva that might be :P) with their mouths closed?
22) Why is there a l light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
23) What do you call male Ballet dancers?(ballerinas i think)
24) If corn oil is made from corn and sunflower oil made from sunflowers is baby oil made from babies???
25) Why isn't 11 pronounced 'onety one'?
26) Why do they call it a TV set when you get only one?
27) who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?
28) When you perform a head count do Siamese twins count as one or two?
29) how long do fish wait to swim after they have had a meal?
30) Why do we call it shipment if it goes from truck or car but cargo when it goes by Ship or plane?
31) Would Einstien be insulted if you offer him a penny for his thoughts?
32) Are there crash courses on flying?

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YEAH I KNOW ITS NOT THAT FUNNY ISN'T BEING SICK TORTURE ENOUGH?
Have fun annoying people but don't overdo it.....
disclaimer:-
            I own only a couple of questions in this post most of them were copied and pasted by me.
            I hold no responsibility whatsoever about the damages done to you mentally or physically after reading this blog.

            Grammer yea i know i was too sick to fix my grammatical errors...

            North Korea is really an awesome country, you should probably go there for your next vacations..

           

Remember to comment and share.............

http://www.kestometik.org 

Why I think Babies are Evil

Blog Post No. 7                                
                                   The Menace that is a Human Infant
                                                                Or
                                                  Evil human Babies

I know you people must be thinking that I have probably lost it or something coz I am writing about something as cute and innocent as babies but trust me they aren't cute or innocent they are very ugly and they smell bad, they are the living proof of Satan the great's evil.( I called him great coz he was the best jinn that's why he was promoted to the level of Head angel So don't go around classifying me as a "Grade-A lunatic devil worshiper" thank you), and yes they are very evil, so you're still not convinced huh?
 I'll tell you the reasons so that you'll start to open your eyes and actually do something about them
here are a couple of reasons:-

• They brainwash you and make you think that they're cute

• Their heads are bigger  in proportion to their bodies so they remind me of Dora the Explorer.

• They can't speak.

• They talk in their own secret language,how evil is that?

• They have secret invisble teeth that's why they bite really bad.

• They put everything in their God forsaken(yes that's my favorite word,Problem?) mouths no matter how important it might be.

• They eye you out everytime you pass by.

• They look like hairless rodents.

• They make people think that they're so innocent and adorable.

• They poop and pee in their clothes so that you'll have to wash them.
•  
• They have a high maintenance cost.

• They are very choosy.

• They'll eat everything that you don't want them to eat and they won't eat something that you want them to.
• They cry alot in their high pitched squeaky voice and that too for no reason at all.(owaan owaaan)

• They smell really bad.
• They make really foul smelling shit it's so disgusting that it classifies as biological warfare.(Stinky stuff)

• They make really annoying voices.(gheee ghoou zzz shhzzzhashhazz)

• They are real whiners they complain alot in their secret language.(they shoul be named Whiney the poos)

• They are very elusive. (they think that they're all illuminati and Freemasons)

• They complain alot.

• All they do is ingest,sleep and defecate and they still cry for no reason. (Defecate "means to shit"..I can use big words)

• Their parent's are very protective of them.

• They wake you up in the middle of the night for no reason. (babies are also a huge cause for divorces)

• They are evil they ruin your clothes by peeing on them. (and they laugh thinking that its funny)

• When they know that you're on to their little gimmick they start to cry whenever you are around them.(Their parents have no fashion sense,YES THAT IS ALSO THEIR FAULT)

• They try to take your glasses.(I hate that)

• They like stupid TV shows that i just can't stand.("Dora the Explorer" and "Go Diego Go" to be more precise)

• They call water "Mum Mum" (how evil is that?)

• They made me forget this reason.

• Reason same as above.
• They think that you're always there to serve them.(like you have no life...)

   By now i hope that you'll be able to get past their screen of "innocence",so don't ask your parents for a new baby brother or sister all of them are alike, adopt a cat of dog instead they're way better and they're also way cuter than the babies.
SAY NO TO BABIES....
THEY ARE EVIL....
SMOKING KILLS
BABIES STUPIDIFY(Yea i came up with that word,Problem?) 
Read disclaimers they are really funny...
disclaimer:-
              The author isn't a crazy lunatic.
              The author actually has a life,i know it doesn't look like it but it is.
              I can't change what you think so if you have a different opinion then keep it to  yourself.
             If you think otherwise then its your fault.
             If you don't think that it's funny then your loss buddy.
             The author takes no responsibilty for damage done to your reputation.
             I know about the grammatical errors but i am too damn lazy to fix them.
             This article is my intellectual property so don't copy it without accrediting me. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-\par
THERE IS AN OPTION THAT SAYS COMMENT USE IT PLEASE.
IF YOU THINK THAT ITS FUNNY THEN PLEASE SHARE IT ON FB OR TWITTER.             

Rebecca Black

Oh joy it was Rebecca Black day

Oh God here I go again, today (technically speaking yesterday) I was given an idea that I should write something about Ms. Black as It was
wait for it
FRIDAY.

We all know about Ms. Black's song that went viral on the internet, yes I am talking about the same one that got 3x more dislikes than likes on youtube alone....
Ms. Black is a hormonal teenager in her early teens who has been infected by really annoying bug Called the beliber syndrome, to put it in other words she has developed the hawts for the Canadian moose lovin' excuse for a teenage boy (yes the one whose name we do not speak).
Ms. Black only has one talent that is pissing people off, she was a constant victim of school bullying therefore
she had to revert to home schooling (sad, I know! but she deserved it).
Her dream was to sing on stage with Mr. Bieber and she did all that was in her power to achieve her goal, she made a music video that was extremely bad and used a hell lot of auto tuning so there's the reason that suggests why she sounds like "Mandark" from dexter's Laboratory.
     The lyrics weren't special either but the tune was so damn catchy that it infected almost everyone with a god damn internet connection . The video alone cost her parents a sum of US$ 4000.
     If you have a keen sense of observation then you might have noticed about her guest starring in Ms. Perry's Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F) she played that girl who threw the party and gave Ms. Perry the makeover of a lifetime.
    Something is wrong with that chick she obsesses over Fridays therefore I state that from now onwards Friday would be called "Rebecca Black Day" (would look cooler if written as R3b3CC4 Bl4CK D4Y) that is not for honouring her, but to mock her very existence.
 I follow her on twitter (Don't judge me......) and I know that she sucks at maths even the basic questions like calculating the mass of the earth or simple sh*t like that.

A few snippets from the life of Ms. Black:-

1.   She is actually part Mexican she even went to show support to the local badas* who was running for the prezzi-dude's office..
2. She is actually Mandark on disguise, bent on world domination and revenge (how else would you explain that similarity in their voice don't go around telling me that was the result of misuse of autotune......)
3. She is basically too dumb to insult I've tried it.......

     4. She is obsessed with   R3b3CC4 Bl4CK D4Y I think that's because she gets special powers from the                             aliens on that day.

Lyrics to her O so Great Song (Oh joy)

Rumour has it that she called Shakespeare back from the dead and made him write those lyrics, then she got them corrected from the devil (I've mentioned that she was from Mexico, and black magic is rampant in that region of the world source:"National geographic Taboo").

A whole lot of old dead dudes like Bach and Beethoven helped compose the symphony to that awful song.(source:too many cooks spoil the broth)

The song contains subliminal messages like "drink more coke and other shit like that".

Lyrics (for real now)

 Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)

Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

(in this part she sounds like a person who just had a relief after being constipated for 3 days or more)

Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein' everything, the time is goin'
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

(This is the most objectionable part of the video she waits for the bus and then rides to school with her friends in a car of some unknown dude,What kind of message is she trying to give to the kids who actually listen to her song???)

Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

(this is the "other" most objectionable part of the video she explains that she got in the car but still hasn't taken her seat on account of her so called friends who won't even spare a seat for her. People please do not try this in the car coz it can cause a lot of sh*t to the driver and even get you hospitalized.)

Commander Kurt from star trek on hearing this part slapped his head and said "Just pick a damn seat She-dog" 
 
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

(in this part she explains that how much she's anticipating tonight coz she has finally been invited to a party....)

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
(in this part she's is telling us about how she thinks it will turn out but for the full reference to how the party turned out please check out the lyrics to "last Friday night". Ik there was a lot of drinking at that party I've seen the video.....)  

7:45, we're drivin' on the highway
Cruisin' so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right, ay
I got this, you got this
Now you know it
(Seriously i couldn't understand this part o wait just cracked the puzzle she is actually brain washing the kids to break the speed limits more often...)
(she might even be a raged psychopath hence she keeps on chanting fun fun to make sure her temper doesn't hit the roof....(i know convertible car))

Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
(Just take the God forsaken seat you She-dog, even Yoda would've committed suicide after hearing that twice...)
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
(We get it you've finally been invited to a party that you threw just don't make a huge fuss about it...)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
(They all get high somebody calls the police and they get their butts arrested.....)

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after ... wards
I don't want this weekend to end

(This part according to her parents actually helps her to remember what day it is....)

(Rebecca Y U NO tell us what comes after sunday?????/?)

R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin' in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I'm drivin', cruisin' (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin' lanes
Wit' a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C'mon) Passin' by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it's Friday, it's a weekend
We gonna have fun, c'mon, c'mon, y'all
(I have no clue but I think she's telling us how fun it is to go on a driving spree and says its just like GTA or most wanted and she almost got hit by a school bus and got pooped on by a flying elephant and the tick tock caused her temporary insanity and she actually drove over 4 or 5 Pre school kids.......)

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
(SAME AS ABOVE)

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
(Same as above)

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

Disclaimer:-rebecca black and all related characters according to the contarct belong to the ark music group....

I know about the grammatical errors but i am just to damn lazy to fix them

No copyright infringement intended

rebecca black might not be so suckish in real life but who gives a damn????????
BuLLying people is not cool even if they sing something that pathetic..

The Concepts provided here are entirely made up and may or may not be related to the persona of ms.Black

The mexicans are crazy

This article is my intellectual property so don't use it without my permission or giving me credit......

There is an option down there that says comment please do use it.................

Why I think Dora the Explorer should be banned

Blog no. 5

                           Why I think Dora the explorer should be banned

Hey readers how'z it hangin'?

In this post I'll tell you about the menace that is Dora the Explorer.

Before you start to question my sanity just hear me out, I know its a Kid's show but there are

a few aspects of that show that I find questionable on many grounds including social and moral

 just give them a read before classifying me as a crazy nutjob without a life...

 So here are the aspects of the show that I find questionable.

1. She is an evil 5 year old she-witch.
2. She thinks everybody else is as dumb as Sh*t.
3. She is a drug addict who's constantly high. 
4. That show teaches no moral values.
5. She thinks animals can talk.
6. She thinks animals speak espanol.
7. She talks to inanimate objects like her backpack and map.
8. She believes that swiper the local bada*s can be stopped by chanting the magic spell "Swiper no swiping" 3 times.(imagine children saying that to a thief or a murderer)
9. She has a blue talking monkey who wears red boots named well "boots".( btw the monkey has no fashion sense he wears red boots are you hearing me out here red rubber boots on blue skin.)
10. She thinks every problem can be solved by singing really obnoxious songs like "come on something something".
11. Her map is a stoner who sings really annoying songs and she needs you to scream on the top of your lungs so that her precious map who is probably stoned as sh*t to hear you.
12. The map isn't even a real map.
13. Her backpack (more like a department store) has everything that "you might need" inside it and he is bilingual.
14. She treats all her viewers as if they were as retards or mentally challenged cases.
15. She makes people feel as dumb as sh*t.
16. Did I mention that the show also has an annoying blue cursor? 
17. She has a band of 3 pests with instruments which celebrate or make fun of you after you have completed a certain task.
18. She thinks that there are different kinds of stars that help you to achieve different tasks known as "Explorer Stars" , and get this she actually tries to catch them. (Imagine your little brother or sister doing that..)
19. She is a conspiracy from the communist regime of Cuba, and she tries to indoctrinate every kid out there so they would join her army of mindless slaves.
20. She is an illegal immigrant from a foreign land.
21. Her parents let her wander off to any where she wants even a foreign country.
22. She has a cousin who's an even bigger sh*tcase than she is coz he thinks all animals are our friends and he has a pet jaguar.(jaguars are big cats from the Americas that inhabit the rainforests& YES THEY'RE DANGEROUS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS)
23. She actually makes drug deals.
24. She smokes Cuban cigars.
25. She carries a picture of Fidel Castro....
26. She worships the devil.
27. She thinks Justin Bieber is hot...(no comments)
28. She invades the minds of little children.
29. She Picks on swiper.
30. She practices black magic.(her grandma or abuela was a witch doctor..)
31. She is a bad influence on the future generation.
32. She has a giant head.

And you know what the worst part is she doesn't let me finish my sentences.,first she asks you about your favourite part of the show and doesn't even wait for you to finish the sentence. She has no manners she thinks that she is a superstar diva but she isn't.Now I'll let you decide if she is evil or not, if you have a different opinion then that's your fault not mine and don't forget to comment.

Until next time,

Adieu and Farewell.

Disclaimer:=Dora the explorer is a copyrighted trademark or nick inc.

I know about most of the grammatical errors but I am way too lazy to fix them

No copyright infringement intended

the author takes no responsibility for any damages done to your reputation 

and I came up with this article so if you want to redistribute it then please do accredit me.......

How to destroy your old phone so your parents will buy you a new one

Blog post no. 4

 How to destroy your old phone so your parents   will buy you a new one
                            (How not to fix your phone)

Hey readers how's your life???
oh really,tell me more....
ahaan....
ok...
that's good....
So you could be reading this for only one reason
You are a spoilt brat who just got a new phone but after a few weeks
you found out that those bigshots at a company not naming but "coughapplecough" just released a new phone and you just got carried away because its Just 0.001 inch thinner and a bit longer than your perfectly normal 4s heck it even has the same features apart from a few that don't matter but you want a new one coz you are just a spoilt brat or a showoff or both,if that's the case then you've come to the right place.
In this post i'll show you how to destroy your old or perfectly normal phone.
(*note:bear in mind that this guide is for the new smart phones out there & not for nokia coz if you're thinking of destroying your nokia then you must be crazy as sh*t.*)
Well there are a couple of things that you'll need and should have lying around the house.

1) Magnet (BIGGER the better)
2) A hammer (same as above)
3) a pair of pliers
4) an assortment of screwdrivers (if you don't have them lying around then you should go kill yourself)
5) wire (3 foot in length atleast)
6) no knowledge of tools or phones (coz if you do then you won't be able to destroy your phone)

  step by step guide:-
1) Bring your magnet near your device(if it doesn't work then get a bigger magnet)

in theory: bringing the magnet closer to the phone will result in the scrambling of the instructions in the phone's rom. 

(Note:the phone can still be repaired by flashing and you can still sell it after flashing, if you don't want that then carry on reading)
2) open it up using a screwdriver and remove the battery and other things that you may find interesting.
   (if you are a guy like me then you'll find a lot of interesting goodies)
3) use the pliers to rip out the smaller pieces.
4) then use the wire to short circuit the electrical parts.
5) hit the remaining phone with the hammer and pound it to bits.
6) make a story that yor parents will believe like when you were
   crossing the street the phone fell out of your pocket and got
   run over by a car, include excrutiating details like how you tried to
   stop the car but ninja rainbow monkeys caught a hold of you and you
   were unable to stop it and then time slowed down and it was just
   like matrix, you even tried to dodge bullets and missiles to stop
   the car but the ninja rainbow monkeys stopped you.
   (tip: use a large quantity of bandage tape to make it look real
    but don't over do it)

disclaimer:-
the idea was Totally mine so don't try to copy it without my permission.
             Do not try to take apart the battery.
             any damage done to your phone is your problem not mine.
             If you get grounded or banished from your house its your fault not mine.
             If your parents buy you a nokia 103 after this then that is also your               

            problem not mine.(AND IT SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR BEING A SPOILT LITTLE BRAT)