Why I think Babies are Evil

Blog Post No. 7                                
                                   The Menace that is a Human Infant
                                                                Or
                                                  Evil human Babies

I know you people must be thinking that I have probably lost it or something coz I am writing about something as cute and innocent as babies but trust me they aren't cute or innocent they are very ugly and they smell bad, they are the living proof of Satan the great's evil.( I called him great coz he was the best jinn that's why he was promoted to the level of Head angel So don't go around classifying me as a "Grade-A lunatic devil worshiper" thank you), and yes they are very evil, so you're still not convinced huh?
 I'll tell you the reasons so that you'll start to open your eyes and actually do something about them
here are a couple of reasons:-

• They brainwash you and make you think that they're cute

• Their heads are bigger  in proportion to their bodies so they remind me of Dora the Explorer.

• They can't speak.

• They talk in their own secret language,how evil is that?

• They have secret invisble teeth that's why they bite really bad.

• They put everything in their God forsaken(yes that's my favorite word,Problem?) mouths no matter how important it might be.

• They eye you out everytime you pass by.

• They look like hairless rodents.

• They make people think that they're so innocent and adorable.

• They poop and pee in their clothes so that you'll have to wash them.
•  
• They have a high maintenance cost.

• They are very choosy.

• They'll eat everything that you don't want them to eat and they won't eat something that you want them to.
• They cry alot in their high pitched squeaky voice and that too for no reason at all.(owaan owaaan)

• They smell really bad.
• They make really foul smelling shit it's so disgusting that it classifies as biological warfare.(Stinky stuff)

• They make really annoying voices.(gheee ghoou zzz shhzzzhashhazz)

• They are real whiners they complain alot in their secret language.(they shoul be named Whiney the poos)

• They are very elusive. (they think that they're all illuminati and Freemasons)

• They complain alot.

• All they do is ingest,sleep and defecate and they still cry for no reason. (Defecate "means to shit"..I can use big words)

• Their parent's are very protective of them.

• They wake you up in the middle of the night for no reason. (babies are also a huge cause for divorces)

• They are evil they ruin your clothes by peeing on them. (and they laugh thinking that its funny)

• When they know that you're on to their little gimmick they start to cry whenever you are around them.(Their parents have no fashion sense,YES THAT IS ALSO THEIR FAULT)

• They try to take your glasses.(I hate that)

• They like stupid TV shows that i just can't stand.("Dora the Explorer" and "Go Diego Go" to be more precise)

• They call water "Mum Mum" (how evil is that?)

• They made me forget this reason.

• Reason same as above.
• They think that you're always there to serve them.(like you have no life...)

   By now i hope that you'll be able to get past their screen of "innocence",so don't ask your parents for a new baby brother or sister all of them are alike, adopt a cat of dog instead they're way better and they're also way cuter than the babies.
SAY NO TO BABIES....
THEY ARE EVIL....
SMOKING KILLS
BABIES STUPIDIFY(Yea i came up with that word,Problem?) 
Read disclaimers they are really funny...
disclaimer:-
              The author isn't a crazy lunatic.
              The author actually has a life,i know it doesn't look like it but it is.
              I can't change what you think so if you have a different opinion then keep it to  yourself.
             If you think otherwise then its your fault.
             If you don't think that it's funny then your loss buddy.
             The author takes no responsibilty for damage done to your reputation.
             I know about the grammatical errors but i am too damn lazy to fix them.
             This article is my intellectual property so don't copy it without accrediting me. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-\par
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Why I think Dora the Explorer should be banned

Blog no. 5

                           Why I think Dora the explorer should be banned

Hey readers how'z it hangin'?

In this post I'll tell you about the menace that is Dora the Explorer.

Before you start to question my sanity just hear me out, I know its a Kid's show but there are

a few aspects of that show that I find questionable on many grounds including social and moral

 just give them a read before classifying me as a crazy nutjob without a life...

 So here are the aspects of the show that I find questionable.

1. She is an evil 5 year old she-witch.
2. She thinks everybody else is as dumb as Sh*t.
3. She is a drug addict who's constantly high. 
4. That show teaches no moral values.
5. She thinks animals can talk.
6. She thinks animals speak espanol.
7. She talks to inanimate objects like her backpack and map.
8. She believes that swiper the local bada*s can be stopped by chanting the magic spell "Swiper no swiping" 3 times.(imagine children saying that to a thief or a murderer)
9. She has a blue talking monkey who wears red boots named well "boots".( btw the monkey has no fashion sense he wears red boots are you hearing me out here red rubber boots on blue skin.)
10. She thinks every problem can be solved by singing really obnoxious songs like "come on something something".
11. Her map is a stoner who sings really annoying songs and she needs you to scream on the top of your lungs so that her precious map who is probably stoned as sh*t to hear you.
12. The map isn't even a real map.
13. Her backpack (more like a department store) has everything that "you might need" inside it and he is bilingual.
14. She treats all her viewers as if they were as retards or mentally challenged cases.
15. She makes people feel as dumb as sh*t.
16. Did I mention that the show also has an annoying blue cursor? 
17. She has a band of 3 pests with instruments which celebrate or make fun of you after you have completed a certain task.
18. She thinks that there are different kinds of stars that help you to achieve different tasks known as "Explorer Stars" , and get this she actually tries to catch them. (Imagine your little brother or sister doing that..)
19. She is a conspiracy from the communist regime of Cuba, and she tries to indoctrinate every kid out there so they would join her army of mindless slaves.
20. She is an illegal immigrant from a foreign land.
21. Her parents let her wander off to any where she wants even a foreign country.
22. She has a cousin who's an even bigger sh*tcase than she is coz he thinks all animals are our friends and he has a pet jaguar.(jaguars are big cats from the Americas that inhabit the rainforests& YES THEY'RE DANGEROUS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS)
23. She actually makes drug deals.
24. She smokes Cuban cigars.
25. She carries a picture of Fidel Castro....
26. She worships the devil.
27. She thinks Justin Bieber is hot...(no comments)
28. She invades the minds of little children.
29. She Picks on swiper.
30. She practices black magic.(her grandma or abuela was a witch doctor..)
31. She is a bad influence on the future generation.
32. She has a giant head.

And you know what the worst part is she doesn't let me finish my sentences.,first she asks you about your favourite part of the show and doesn't even wait for you to finish the sentence. She has no manners she thinks that she is a superstar diva but she isn't.Now I'll let you decide if she is evil or not, if you have a different opinion then that's your fault not mine and don't forget to comment.

Until next time,

Adieu and Farewell.

Disclaimer:=Dora the explorer is a copyrighted trademark or nick inc.

I know about most of the grammatical errors but I am way too lazy to fix them

No copyright infringement intended

the author takes no responsibility for any damages done to your reputation 

and I came up with this article so if you want to redistribute it then please do accredit me.......