The Real truth (theories) About the Bermuda triangle

Blog no. 9

              The Real truth (theories) About the Bermuda triangle

Hey readers whazxxxup? today I'll give you the Down-low on one of the biggest mysteries of our times and tell you what i think about it.
 As you might know that the Bermuda triangle is a place where a lot of freaky shit happens like planes,subs and ships vanished without a trace(they sent out radio signals but who gives a damn right?) and you might have seen shows regarding the triangle on History,national geographic or discovery channel but as we all know that's all a bunch of crazy hog-wash and these people are deliberately trying to stupidify you by telling you that sh*t.
                    First let me make this thing clear The triangle isn't actually a triangle its a quadrangle(for a few of you who haven't paid attention during geometry a quadrangle is a closed shape with four sides and points hence the "quad"rangle).
Where abouts:-
              It can be found traveling across the Atlantic ocean but is said to reside between the confines of Miami,San Juan(read as yuan moron),Puerto Rico and last but not the least Islands of Bermuda(whenever i say or write the word Bermuda a song pops into my mind here it goes Aroba,Jamaica ooo i wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama.....damn it brain you've done it again) where were we? huh, oh yea i was ranting on about the B to the E to the R to the M to the U to the D to the A(that spells Bermuda?? you don't say?)
Also called:-
             The devils triangle, that freaky place,sector x, that zone where normal things don't happen very often,devil's backyard,Woman's purse,My room,My cargo pants' pocket,Lae Nallah(Rwp district), Lahore's Canal or nehar(whatev the lahoris call it who cares right?)...(yes i came up with most of them myself..Problem?).
Why is it so popular:-
                      Its popular coz many dead people with old torn down planes and ships went missing there and many movies also have its name in them and a lot of people have written totally useless books about it which are choked full of lies and if your stupid geography book or your science book has anything to say about it then they are lies too, even your teacher is a bloody liar if he/she makes you read them.
What got lost there:-
                     The Americans lost a lot of cool shit there the list is very long but I'll try to name them coz i am so damn awesome (no arguing about that notion)
1)A bunch or flying planes civilian and military
2)a bunch of ships and boats civilian and military.
theories about the Quadrangle:-
                               Scientists,Chuck Norris and your's truly all of us have different opinions about the triangles but most of what the scientists say are lies they are trying to stupidify you with those lies most of what the scientists say are lies because they can't be right coz they're nerds and geeks for God's sake when did nerds and geeks become the smartest people in the world?
 The theories range from aliens to worm holes and portals to other dimensions and from bad weather to magnetic fields and huge as* waves.
 But I know what actually goes on their yea you heard it right Einstein I said I know what goes on in their.(WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT EINSTEIN,OH RIGHT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT COZ YOU'RE DEAD...)
 My favorite theory about the triangle(by other people):-
          Aliens: people say that they abduct anything they find interesting going through the triangle.
Worm holes: Most of the things that went through the triangle got sucked into a worm hole end of story.
Portals: Portals randomly pop up at different places at random times in the triangle and things go through them
Magnetic fields: As you know compasses go haywire when used near a magnet and the sea bed at the bottom of the triangle is piled with magnetics hence the compasses start going haywire and planes and ships start to go in circles and eventually their fuel runs out and they sink.
Electro magnetic fog: this is a very freaky kind of fog available in a variety of assorted and designer colors that causes radio and other electronics in the victim's planes or ships to go haywire hence they are lost at sea.
  The theories about the triangle which make no sense to me(by other people):-
                    Strong winds: winds so strong that they disintegrate anything they come in contact with.(pfft pile of bulldog sh*t)
Huge as* waves: Really huge waves engulf everything sending them to their saltwater flavored death.(how can waves get as high as 10000 feet? hog wash really)
Devil: El Diablo (Spanish for the devil, dimwit) lives their and he doesn't like intruders in his abode(the devil probably has better things to do then to get a couple off meddling kids off from his property.)

A real image taken by the satellite of Bermuda triangle about to devour 2 planes(yes that was made by paint captain obvious, Problem?)

 My theories about the quadrangle(drum roll please) "badum tssss":-
         So fellas this is the part that you all must be waiting for huh.
1) Fuzzy lumpkins lives their (gett off from my property)
2) Dora's secret cache of drug is located there and Diego and his animals friends guard it with their life.
3) Secret Alien Base
4) Osama Bin Laden's secret toy factory.
5) Hershey's secret chocolate test factory is located their.
6) 3 words "New Apple maps".
7) Dexter's Secret Lab is located there.
8) Megan from drake and josh has her warehouse of cool stuff there.
9) America tests secret weapons there from time to time.
10) Nokia's secret destructibility testing center is there.
11) That's where Julian Assange's Mama lives..(O.o)
12) Leprechaun and their pots of gold so they protect it with their life.
13) Hogwarts school of wizardry and magic.
14) Zardari's secret bank account.
15) Its Santa Clause and his minions and they plot to take over the world.
16) That is where the Indians translate American shows to hindi....
17) Jack sparrow's ghost guards his treasure which is situated on the Island in the center of the quadrangle.
19) A smuggler lives there who gave buddy and guy the Gary Coleman grills.(drake and josh)
20) Adolf Hitler lives with Eva Braun(yes Adolf's wife.....) their on his private mansion.
21) My imaginary Girlfriend.(NO COMMENTS I GET VERY TOUCHY)
22) Evil camels planning world domination.
23) Evil kittens..
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Discliamer:-
            This article is my intelectual property please do not copy it without accrediting me
 This article is the creative work of my imagination and i am damn sure that the triangle doesn't do that in real life.
 Not my fault if you get an F on your report card you nincompoop
I take no responsibility for any damages done to you or your reputation by reading this article.
If you don't find it funny then its not my fault
I hate grammar I know about the errors and it is intended that way (problem?)
Dora,Diego,Drake and josh are reserved trademarks of nick inc.
FUZZY LUMPKINS &Dexter are registered trademarks of hanna barbera
I didn't list chuck norris' theories cause he might come to get me if i get them wrong(Yes i am afraid of him,Problem?)
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